Assignment 2: Chapter 4 (revising and re-thinking)

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Assignment 2

Below are two emails sent in anger by supervisors to subordinates within their companies. First, explain
why these email are poorly worded and phrased and explain how you would communicate the same
messages in a more effective manner. Finally, re-draft replacement emails (there could be more than one)
for each email below.

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First Email:

To: All Employees

From: IT Department

Subject: Big Problem with Email

Hi Everyone,

You all obviously have no respect for our email system. Your lnboxes are
much too big, and we are often having to recover lost information. I have
better things to do! Also, big inboxes slow down the server.

Starting tomorrow, we will check all inboxes. If you have more than 250
messages, then your inbox will be temporarily removed, and you’ll have to
follow instructions in order to get it back.

This is easy to avoid! Just take a few precious minutes out of each day,

and move emails to folders where they belong or delete them.


P.S. Congratulations, Corey Shields, you have the biggest inbox with 6,921

Second Email:

To: All SF Employees
Subject: Expense Reports
I’m looking at your recent expense reports, and it’s making me crazy. I’m
finding expensive cab rides and meals, late reports, and other annoyances
that need to be fixed. Why take a cab for $25 when you can take a shuttle
instead for less than half that?
I don’t have time to send emails individually, so here’s the line-up of problems.
Sam: Why take a $30 taxi to the hotel when there’s a subway? $59 to the
airport is too much when the subway costs $5.
Peter: $72 for lunch is too high. Three people? Still too high. Two people?
Obscenely high What’s the $116 for Toffer? You’re wasting money on
these people.
Jon: Read the policy. Max for cell phone is $50, not $67.
Melissa: What office are you in? You can’t tell from the blank space on your
report. We DON’T SEND thank-you cards. What a waste. Also, the report
needs your manager’s approval and the report should be stapled in the
upper corner, not at the bottom.
Martha: Tip is too high. NEVER EVER pay over 15%.
Nellie: Calendar charge? NOT IN THE POLICY! 3}

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Last Updated on April 25, 2020 by