1A List of “I Can’t”
Challenge 1: I can’t get over my dread of speaking in front of people.
I can’t seem to get over my anxiousness when I have to speak in front of a lot of persons, no matter how big or small.
Example: In high school, I had to give a lot of presentations alone in front of the whole class. Even though I have a lot of time to rehearse my presentation, I always get nervous ahead of time, which makes me even more nervous.
Challenge 2: I can’t say “no” when someone I know asks me for a favor.
I can’t say no when requested for a favor or assist, be it for my relatives, friends, or colleagues.
Example: My father will sometimes ask me to babysit my little sibling at the last minute, while all I wish to do is be laid back and have some hours to myself. But unless I can’t do what’s being asked of me, I would always say yes.
Challenge 3: I feel bad when I ask for a days off from work.
I usually feel bad about inquiring for days off beforehand especially since I work in health care.
Example: Whenever I need days off, I don’t ask for it because I feel like I’m not dependable.
Challenge 4: I can’t just walk up to a stranger and start talking to them.
When I’m with a lot of persons I don’t know, my anxiety starts to rise right away. I have a propensity to stop myself from interacting right away.
Example: I went shopping for clothes for an upcoming event. I eventually found a shirt I liked, but when I went to buy it, I found out they didn’t have my size. I didn’t ask an employee if they could have my size. Rather, I went online and got it.
Challenge 5: When I ask for assistance, I feel like I’m being a burden.
I am very self – reliant and always eager to assist other people. But when I need assistance from somebody, I feel like I’m bothering that person.
Example: When I first started at the university, I was very tense since it has been a while since I had been to school. I knew that I would need some assistance and guidance to get back on my feet. I made it through the whole week before I realized I will need to ask for assistance.
Challenge 6: I can’t take criticism without feeling bad about myself.
Critiques can sometimes seem bad or unkind at first, and that can become the emphasis instead of what the person criticizing is saying.
Example: When I was advised to care for patients in the ER in a way that was different from what I was being used to, I felt like I was being judged right away.
1B List of “I Won’t”
Challenge #1: I won’t request for days off of work with guilt taking me.
Explanation: When it comes down to it, saying “I won’t” rather than “I can’t” in this situation is more sensible, since everyone needs days off every now and again. Even if it’s only a few minutes to oneself, it doesn’t matter. When you’re in need of time off, it’s ridiculous to feel guilty about it.
Challenge #2: I won’t overcome my phobia of public speaking.
Explanation: Anxiety is something I deal with on a regular basis, therefore “I won’t” is truer than “I can’t” in this case. Anxiety sets in when I realize that everyone’s attention is on me.
1C List of “I’m Not Sure”
Challenge 1: I’m not sure how to say “no” when I’m requested to do anything for someone I know. Telling someone no when they ask for a favor is much easier than it sounds, particularly if you are close to the person asking for the favor.
Challenge 2: I have no idea how to start a conversation with a stranger. Greeting a stranger is something I find difficult and unnerving. Part of the reason for this is that I’m stumped on how to introduce myself and frame the inquiry I’m thinking of asking.
Challenge 3: I’m not sure how to request assistance without making myself seem like a burden, which is my fifth challenge. For some reason, it’s simple for me to ask for someone’s aid when I need it. It is tough for me to express what I want done in depth without seeming like I am overly judgmental or even a nuisance to them after we have engaged in conversation.
Challenge 4: It is difficult for me to take criticism without getting very self-conscious. It might be difficult to tell whether someone is offering constructive feedback at first, but with practice, it becomes second nature. You may practice on this skill when you get constructive criticism instead of simply negative feedback.
Selecting a 1D Issue
If you’ve ever been asked to perform a favor for someone you know and you can’t say “no,” you’re not alone. I think this is the most difficult thing I have to work on. Reason: I need to practice reminding myself when it’s good to say “no” instead of “yes.” A lot of self-motivation and self-discipline will be required to take on this endeavor, in my opinion. If it helps alleviate some of my worry and guilt, then I am all for it.
Statement of Work for Project 1E
When asked to perform a favor for a friend, I’m at a loss for words. Throughout the course of this endeavor, I plan to keep in touch with both my friends and mother. When I find myself in a predicament like this, I know just who I’ll turn to for guidance and comfort. I’m certain that with their support, I’ll be able to conquer this obstacle.
Title: Making People Feel Guilty in Conversations: Techniques and Correlates
An overview of research looking at how and why people feel guilty in their relationships and interactions is provided in this article. To begin, researchers examined the specific ways in which the subject of guilt was broached in various contexts. Relationship responsibilities, comparisons, and declarations of self-sacrifice are all examples of this. Employing guilt in this manner is a habit that is likely to be repeated in the future. Persuasion is the primary goal of using guilt as a relational tool, according to the study’s findings
Insight: The understanding I gained from reading this article is closely related to my previous comment, “I don’t know.” I would be able to go back to the knowledge on how to detect the guilt tactics typically employed in persuading if I ever find myself feeling forced into a task.
Vangelisti, A. L., Daly, J. A., & Rae Rudnick, J. (1991). Making people feel guilty in conversations: Techniques and correlates. Human Communication Research, 18(1), 3-39